Like a field goal off of Kai Forbath’s leg…it’s good!

Maybe…

”
Please end the UCLA football program’s committment to mediocrity.

We, as UCLA football fans, have experienced very few seasons to be proud of. This lies in stark contrast to the outstanding academic and sports (100 national championships) committment to excellence.

We need look no further than our own experience at UCLA to find solutions. Our successes have come from hiring proven head coaches (Name, Name, name, Name, Wooden), and our failures have most often come from hiring inexperience Barnes, Farmer, Hazzard, Lavin and Dorrell).

As Bruin fans, we ask: Does Murphy Hall and Morgan Center believe that we should be struggling for bowl eligibility (Dorrell: 5-6, 6-7, 10-2, 7-6, 4-5 note I forget his exact record)? Is Murphy Hall and Morgan Center Committed to excellence or are they satisfied with mediocrity?

If we continue in our current direction, declining interest and future declining revenues will not only hurt our football program but also all of our athletic programs. We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department:

Replace Karl Dorrell at the end of the season with a proven, winning, experienced head coach.

Sorry, I just wrote it without proofreading, so dont’ rip me a new one!

I think there is a lot of improvement in this draft from the last one.

Oh, and keep the “paid for by UCLA students, alumni, dono… “

I am dubious about “Our *successes* at UCLA in the 2 major college sports,…” Successes seems out of place if we want to point out the negative. Rightly I think we should replace with *failures*

Here is my take on the ad, keeping in mind that we want to make it easy for the AD to “do the deed” rather than make them jump to the “defense at all costs” mode…. Something they are good at performing..
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Open letter to Dan Guerrero and Chancellor Gene Block

It is time to end the UCLA football program’s acceptance of mediocrity. Over the last 2 decades, we, as UCLA alums and football fans, have experienced few proud seasons. The rest of UCLA standards are very high, both within the Athletic Department and elsewhere, as we all know.

We should look no further [farther?] than our own experience at UCLA to find solutions. Our successes at UCLA in the 2 major college sports, football and basketball, show us that hiring inexperience most often fails our standards (Barnes, Farmer, Hazzard, Lavin and Dorrell).

The question Bruin fans ask is: What commitment do Murphy Hall and Morgan Center have to excellence in football as we demand excellence everywhere else at our university? Is the new mantra of the university, “Excellence throughout but tier two standards for football?” If we continue in our current direction, declining interest and future declining revenues will not only hurt our football program but also all of our athletic programs.

We urge you to make the right choice for our football program and athletic department. Hire a proven, winning, experienced head coach at the end of this season.

“UCLA is officially the worst-coached (football) team in America.”

Sports Illustrated’s Stewart Mandel

Paid for by UCLA students, alums, donors, boosters, fans, and DumpDorrell.com

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IMO, this gets the message out and is more positive.
Bill

“We need look no further than our own experience at UCLA to find solutions.”

This sounds like you are proposing an in-house hire, though that’s not what you mean. Consider saying instead:

“We need look no further than our own experience at UCLA to see the problem.”

My mistake–I jumped ahead and saw the names Farmer, Lavin, … I should know better than to make editorial comments late at night.

Still, might it be better to make this two paragraphs: one shows the patterns of failure in hiring inexperience; the other, the opposite.